What’s going on here?

…or why have I been quiet on here?

Before you continue…

This is my journey into the world of cancer-fighting and the treatments it entails. If you don’t like posts on radiation or chemo or their side effects, you are NOT obligated to click on this post and read it.
You have been warned.

It all starts on the 27th of June…

Chemo and radiation therapy. I NEVER thought I would be here staring down six weeks of radiation therapy and five chemotherapy treatments.

Me, cancer…

I knew I may develop some other illness. After all, chronic bronchitis can develop into COPD or my anemia could have gotten worse. There was a slew of other things I knew I could acquire as I got older, but cancer wasn’t on the list.

Cancer never crossed my mind.

Once you have a plan, it gets easier…

I have been told this by quite a few people, and, to a certain degree, they are right. However, it doesn’t quiet the anxiety and fears of what is in store for me when I start my treatments.

I have been told the side effects, and though they may not seem that bad, they loom over me like an overbearing teacher looking over my shoulder as I perform a lab experiment. They weigh on me heavily.

Cancer and ADHD…

There is nothing like an over-active brain when you are writing creatively.
Then there is an overactive mind when you have been diagnosed with cancer.

“You’re going to look like this bald.” -even though I was told the type of chem I will receive will thin my hair, not make all of it fall out.

“This is you throwing up.” -even though I’ve been told that nausea is more common than actually throwing up.

“This is you thin as hell because of the weight loss.” -It has been stressed that I eat six small meals a day and be very hydrated, up to 64 ounces of water a day.

Who needs descriptions when your brain torments you on a daily basis?

So, how bad is it?

Monday-Friday of radiation treatment. Monday chemo treatments. This is for five weeks.

For the sixth week, the radiation will be more concentrated and internal.

As it accumulates in my system, I have been told to expect nausea, a loss of appetite, thinning hair, and increasing fatigue.

This scares the shit out of me. I am not going to candy-coat it.

This is a whole new journey for me, and I am NOT looking forward to it, but I know it’s my only hope.


In order to try to get my mind off of giving me visuals that would scare any rational person, I have been playing Valheim, a survival pc game.

I am also going to be focusing on my writing projects and other games. I have to get my mind on other things before it drives me insane.

Until next time,
Anissa “Maddy” Walker


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