Of all the things I’ve said and heard,
Of all things around,
The thing I miss the most it seems,
is the one thing that I found.
I thought I had love in my grasp
those many years ago.
I thought I loved him oh so much,
that forever wouldn’t be slow.
Alas, I fear, it wasn’t so.
The marriage not meant to be.
For sadness gripped my very soul,
and didn’t let go of me.
In darkness, I wandered to and fro,
wishing it would end.
The love I thought I had for him,
turned into despair instead.
He had suspicions aplenty
and his insecurities did abound.
Though I fought hard to prove myself,
they malingered and stuck around.
I fought so hard to prove to him,
that I’d be there till the end.
But the end it seemed did come to him,
when my heart he did not tend.
The suspicions, they had dented it.
The insecurities made it shiver.
In the end, making me invisible
is was made it wither.
I am now with someone,
That I was once with before.
My heart it soars and flies with hope.
And it despairs no more.
This was the love I lost,
all those 20 years ago.
I was too young see it then.
Now, older, I let it grow.
He is my lover and confidant.
He is my missing piece.
My soulmate, my friend, my helping hand,
My heart is now at ease.
I know the despair is behind me,
the sadness has gone away.
My soulmate, he is my sunshine,
and he chases the clouds away.
What of my ex? Your wondering?
What became of him?
I pray that God will mend his heart,
that he will love again.
I know he truly loved me,
but his ways were set in stone.
That does not make him bad, you see.
I don’t want him to be alone.
I know there is someone for him.
I know she’ll truly love him.
I know their will hearts find each other,
and his sadness will grow dim.
I hope his heart will find its light.
I hope it happens soon.
For wandering forever in the dark,
one can be consumed.
He has great friends that care for him.
They him keep up and moving.
This will help him find his love,
and keep him, too, from brooding.
I never meant to break his heart.
I never meant to do it.
I had been through that before,
and want no one to go through it.
But when your heart begins lose
the love that it once had,
isn’t better to walk away
than to stay and remain sad?
Is not better to simply leave,
though you know it won’t be easy?
To watch a heart just break in pieces,
knowing you will be uneasy?
Knowing that you hurt them so,
and their pain is all your fault,
and knowing that you fixing it
will lose your mending heart?
When you walk away
from someone in that manner.
There is always a price to pay,
In a heart-broken banner.
That banner is not for him, my friend.
No, this one is for me.
The hurt I caused him will never fade.
I will never truly be free.
Though I am the happiest that I have ever been,
I say a deeply heart felt prayer.
A prayer to the One True God
Because I still do care.
I pray that God does mend his heart,
and that he hears my prayer.
I pray that my ex finds true love,
and she is his hurt’s slayer.
Will I ever finally know
if she finds him ever?
I may and then again may not,
But I will not say “never”.
This tale I write in rhyme for you,
my friends of word and verse.
For you think upon your heart,
and see if you’ve done worse.
We all have done things we wish
we never had to do,
but did you ever pray for those
that you left hurt and blue?
Did you ever call to God,
ask Him to ease their pain;
or did you leave them languishing
in darkness with you to blame?
I know not all sacred.
I know not all are saints,
but did you ever stop to think
that they would have a taint?
A scar upon their battered heart,
that you placed there with words.
Words that spoke with thorns and barbs.
Words that hurt as they heard.
Maybe you should stop and pray
for those you’ve left behind.
Show them some compassion.
An emotion of a higher kind.
This poem is one from many years ago that I had never posted. I don’t know why it stayed on my cloud drive wasn’t published. Maybe I was afraid of people misinterpreting it. Maybe I was afraid people would ridicule me for my faith. I don’t remember.
All I know is that it is time to share it, and I hope you like it.
Anissa “Maddy” Walker