For those of you who have known me for a long time, you know I will call crap out when I see it. There is a lot that needs a call-out, but some of those things need a little more caution than others.
Fake claiming anything is a minefield, but ADHD is a whole other beast.
Why?
The first question in my mind whenever I see self-diagnosed people claiming to have ADHD is, “Why would you WANT this?”
Seriously, why would you want your brain to be wired in such a way that makes you manic about one thing and not able to do anything the next?
Why would you WANT thoughts that are equivalent to twenty or more tabs open in your browser, all with notifications, and five of them are playing music that’s drilling into your brain driving you nuts?
I would not wish ADHD on anyone. It’s not something to be proud to have.
The problem with fake claiming…
The problem with fake claiming ADHD is that it is now a spectrum. This means ADD has been absorbed into it, which is what I was diagnosed with as a child.
This opens a can of worms that makes pointing fingers a minefield. What used to be ADD is now ADHD; so, what I experience may not be the same thing everyone else experiences. I can only speak on my experience with being on the spectrum.
My problem with fake claiming…
There are things that befall those with ADHD that I also exhibit but to a lesser degree.
Mine also have been tempered with the routine my parents set for me as a child and their knowledge of when I was in “Manic mode” for lack of a better term.
They taught me coping skills without knowing it, in my opinion, and I can’t thank them enough for it.
Differences…
Messes and workspaces
Where some ADHD people have piles of mess everywhere, I can’t stand anything being a mess. This could be the result of living with my father, but when I see clutter or my workspace isn’t what I would call ideal, I shut down and am unable to do anything.
This caused a problem for me when we were living out of hubby’s semi as you could imagine. There was no desk, no chair, and no defined workspace. I sat on the bunk in the back with the laptop table and laptop on my lap.
When we moved in with my mom, my workspace was now the futon. Again, it was not ideal. I felt lost and unable to be productive unless I forced myself to work. I would feel exhausted when I was finished. Fighting against the urge to not do anything is grueling and mentally taxing.
Time Management
I see many with ADHD having problems being on time or being very early to appointments and places in general. Growing up, I can’t tell you how many times I would have missed the bus if the driver didn’t wait for me and honked the horn.
Now that I am an adult, I am early by 15 minutes to everything regardless of what it is, and if it looks like I am going to be late by so much as a few minutes, I panic and my anxiety goes through the roof.
Object permanence
Where some with ADHD tend to “Forget” their significant other if they are focused on something or if they are not in their vicinity, I could not imagine not thinking my husband doesn’t exist simply because he’s on the road all the time.
However, I do lose things and have a hard time remembering where I put things. I really have to stop and make a mental note of where I placed it. If I move it while cleaning or in a hurry, forget it. I am running around in a panic trying to find the thing when I need it.
Impatience
If anyone with ADHD has a problem with this, let me know, please. If something takes longer than I think it should, I get frustrated and start complaining about it. This happens a lot when I am on the internet or if I have a lot open on my laptop and it slows down. The urge to throw the laptop is overwhelming, but I have learned to walk away.
Granted the lesson cost me a hard drive, but I learned it.
Directions
Holy hell, this is something we have in common. If you ask me directions, unless I have committed the street signs to memory, you’re getting landmarks and traffic lights to guide you. I do remember exits. So, there’s that.
I used to be able to memorize how to get to places if I drove there once. Not anymore. To find out why click here.
Hyperfocus
Yup, I have this, and boy can it frustrate other people. If I am unabashedly working on something I feel I have to finish that day, anyone talking to me is ignored. If I am watching TV and someone calls me on the phone, forget it. You’re background noise, and I am ignoring you. I don’t mean to do it. It just happens.
Ideastorms/Insomnia
If an idea pops into my head when I am trying to sleep, forget it. Unless I write it down or record it, I am WIDE awake until I do something about it. If I make a concerted effort to put it out of my head, it’s gone. I have forgotten it, and it’s not coming back.
Impulse control
This one’s a doozy. If I am already feeling anxious or agitated, forget it. The table is getting cleaned off as quickly as I see fit, leaving a pile of things on the floor that were once on the desk. If something freezes one too many times, a cell phone for instance, it goes flying. (Obviously, this no longer pertains to my computer.)
I still let whatever is on my mind fly out of my mouth without a filter from time to time as well. So, I still have major issues with that.
So you see…
…saying someone is faking ADHD is a sticky situation. With the symptoms being experienced in a myriad of ways and to differing degrees, it’s almost improbable to finger a faker accurately.
Add on top of that other spectrum disorders like autism having overlapping symptoms, and you can see how the minefield widens.
This is why I am a proponent of getting a professional diagnosis. People who self-diagnose cannot accurately say what they have when there are too many symptoms that mirror other disorders.
When it comes to people blaming the emotional turmoil of a break-up or grieving over a death, that is not ADHD. That is a normal human emotion. I personally do not experience emotions more intensely than my friends who do not have ADHD. I go through the normal grieving process. I am not hyper-aware of what’s around me. I have to make a concerted effort to be situationally aware.
I am not easily over-stimulated. There must exist certain criteria to make me feel overwhelmed and shut down.
There are ways of picking out a faker. It’s just not as easy as some may think.
Until the next time, my loveable misfits,
Anissa “Maddy” Mathias
House of Geek 