I would say it’s been quite the journey, but that would be understating it. These past eight weeks have tested my resilience, strength, and sense of humor, but as Elton John said in his song, “I’m still standing.”
Has happened since the last compilation? Read on, my friends.
Cancer Diary Day 18
This is yet another late entry. The unknown object I suspect has been implanted was kicking within me causing me to reach for generic Tylenol and a heating pad. It had me down for the better part of the afternoon and into the evening.
I did attempt, once again, to charge various objects with energy in order to morph them into explosives. I ended up belching and once again causing the neighbor to check on me.
I press on.
Cancer Diary Day 19
This day has been met with my stomach undaunted in its efforts to perfect its tumbling routine.
I stared at a pool of water in an attempt to foresee the future. Much like the meditation experiment to manipulate time, I woke two hours later.
Cancer Diary Day 20
I walked outside and tried to summon a lightning bolt. All I managed to do was have the neighbors reach for their phones once again. It is not my fault they do not share in my endeavors to be a superhero.
The entity I suspect is inside me has been protesting as to the type of food I have been consuming. It has now decided to kick my pelvis area. This too shall pass. I will persevere.
Weekend Experimental Diaries July 23
I have managed to shake the ninja with the sleeping powder thus far today.
I tried, once again, to fly. I managed a forward jump that would not have impressed a rabbit. The neighbors were watching and money exchanged hands again. One went to reach for their phone. I heard another say I was free entertainment.
I have given up on becoming a super soldier. If anything, my healing factor is slowing.
I feel they have changed the formula.
It was about this time I was beginning to suspect the neighbors were up to something.
Weekend Experimental Diaries July 24
I am thus far successful in dodging the ninja with the sleeping powder. I have been industrious today.
In anticipation of the motherly figure’s return, I have managed to clean most of the house with the exception of the sweeping and mopping downstairs. I am conserving energy for at least sweeping.
In another attempt to see if any superpowers have manifested, I tried to manipulate the broom across the floor by concentrating on it while pointing.
It was at this moment I realized the neighbor was looking in the window and giving me two thumbs up. I feel they are now cheering me on in hopes of winning another bet.
I continue my quest.
Cancer Diary Day 21
I have yet to see a shield of any type. I have not gotten taller nor more muscular.
I uttered all the ancient words I can think of, but no lightning flash. It appears I am not worthy. Rats.
I tried to phase through the wall. I learned the paint was evenly applied, but I never saw the other room unless I walked around.
I wonder if they are making me a sentient zombie.
One of my friends had a theory.
July 26, brought wonderful news.
For those of you who don’t have Twitter, I ACED 5 out of 5 blood tests before chemo. This means no blood transfusions or electrolytes were needed before any chemo infusions. Also, yesterday was my LAST chemo infusion. Five more external radiation treatments are left before the internal treatments.
NO MORE CHEMO WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Cancer Diary Day 22
I stood in front of an open window in direct sunlight for a few minutes and then ran into a bathroom with no lights. I did not glow. I cracked my knuckles and shook my hands, nothing. Being a human glowstick is not feasible.
I stood outside again to see if I could create fire by thought.
The neighbor on my right asked if I was trying to make it windy.
“Fire.”
They typed frantically on their phone. I definitely think they have a betting pool.
Cancer Diary Day 23
The damnable ninja found me upon arrival at home after being in the radiation bunker. It hit me with a large dose of sleeping powder.
I had been feeling off all morning.
I tested to see if I could levitate. My mother said she was worried about me as I sat on the floor humming in hopes of lifting off the floor.
I told her I was worried about me, too. Maybe I should not have said that bit.
The only thing I managed to do was make it to the bathroom on time.
Cancer Diary Day 24
I have been at war with the ninja today, but I have gotten the upper hand.
Then I had to fight the government to start disability.
I did take time to stand in the kitchen and attempt to summon ice from my fingers. I succeeded in having a hot flash instead. I was able to reheat my coffee. So there’s that.
Day 25 was on my birthday. I was not happy about spending most of the day at the hospital. I got there early, but MRI was running late. *sigh* Due to that, I was too tired to make the entry on my birthday. So, I did it the next day.
Cancer Diary Day 25
This entry is late due to the fact I was not home most of the day.
The day started by going to the bunker and being placed in a tube to check on my inner demon.
(MRI to see the tumor’s response.)
I arrived with plenty of time only to have the assistants to the scientists take their time putting me in the tube for testing.
After which, there was my irradiation and coof testing.
I did manage to attempt two tests. I mustered all of my energy to stomp the ground in hopes to form a crack.
The impact reverberated through my body causing me to wince. The neighbor shook their head and typed on their phone.
I clapped my hands together to produce a shock wave. I got a “nice try” from the neighbor across the way.
I heard muttering about cans and the plastic that holds them together. I got them. I don’t drink soda.
Weekend Experimental Diaries July 30-31
This weekend has proven to be… taxing.
I am still suspicious as to whether the scientists have given me the right formula. I can only hope at this point. This weekend’s Saturday tests were as follows:
Tried to manipulate the earth below my feet for transportation purposes. Ended up farting instead.
Tried to turn water into ice. Had to run to the bathroom to pee.
The neighbor to my right had company, and all five of them were chattering about what I could be doing. Money exchanged hands once again.
This morning I stood in my front yard trying to meld into a tree by leaning against it. A neighbor who came outside to get their paper shook their head and mentioned something about a broken elevator.
So, no druidic powers either.
The day of the sleeve insertion was here. I was not happy about the number of times it took them to get a vein that would not roll. By this time, my poor veins were staging a coup.
Cancer Diary Day 26
They tried bribing me with jewelry (Med bracelets). I knew they were up to something. I got sleepy, lost time, and was told something was implanted to help fight the demon. (tumor) I am hoping they were not replaced with aliens again. Last time, they removed organs.
I awoke groggy with a nurse smiling at me asking me if I how I felt. The pain in my lower abdomen was like the demon clawing its way out of me.
They gave me something for the pain. The demon was sated.
I have no energy to attempt any superpower experiments.
Seriously, The procedure went off without a hitch. I am sleepy and taking it easy. I FINALLY got my coffee and some food.
It was somewhere during this journey that discovered a power I didn’t want…
Cancer Diary Day 27
It is late due to a hiccough with a ride and the ninja of fatigue smacking me hard.
The scientist inserted instruments inside me and then placed me in a tube to make sure the demon was immobilized (MRI to make sure the ring a tandem are correctly placed). I felt like a stuffed turkey. They then placed me in a small room where they had a physicist check radiation levels. I was apprehensive about this.
Upon arriving at home, I immediately tested to see if there was any glowing. None.
Tried to muster up the energy for a blast out of my right hand. I farted instead.
My mother looked at me puzzled and went back to her tablet.
The internal treatments continued until the end.
Cancer Diary Day 28
The impression of a stuffed Turkey at Thanksgiving went smoothly. I am slightly tired but not as bad as Day 27.
I stood outside and held my palms open across from each other and concentrated in hopes of producing an electrical spark. The only thing I achieved was making my tongue hurt as I was biting it in order to improve my concentration.
I then tried to produce a sonic wave. My hands stung for a few minutes, but no wave.
Out of the corner of my eye, money exchanged hands between a group of neighbors with each try. I do believe they have turned my quest into a game. At least they stopped dialing on their phones.
Much-needed transportation was acquired, a 2015 Kia Soul. We love the car, and of course, I had to use it in a diary or two.
Weekend Experimental Diaries Aug. 13
Undaunted, I found myself outside concentrating as I stood in front of my car. I screamed and clapped trying to generate a sonic wave to move the car. This generated head scratches from the neighbors followed by head shaking. There was no money exchanged.
I tried my hardest to whip up another slight breeze. I got light-headed and had to sit down. There were smug smiles from two of the neighbors and the money was being swapped, and I swore I heard one say, “THAT one was in the pool.”
Weekend experimental Diaries Aug. 14
It was a cool morning. So, I decided to step outside and see if I could muster some rain, a slight drizzle. I had to run inside to pee. I am ceasing the water control experiments.
Upon returning outside, the neighbor asked me if I was trying to control the wind again. I told him rain.
He snapped his fingers and muttered something under his breath.
I stood in front of my Kia, took a stance, held out my hand, and tried my best to see if I could manipulate gravity. All managed was to give myself a headache.
“Telekinesis?” was the question I heard.
“No, gravity manipulation.”
I saw a fist pump from his other half and money exchanged, hands.
The neighbor on the other side of me asked if I was sure I didn’t need help. Once again, I told them there was no help for me. They agreed. I really have to phrase that better.
Cancer Diary Day 29
Entry is late due to fatigue. I returned home from the experiment and took a nap that almost lasted three hours, reinforcing my belief that my DNA may have been spliced with that of an ancient drake.
So, in that spirit, I tried to generate fire breath by standing in the front yard and practicing a Yoga breathing technique.
I felt something happening. Unfortunately, it was heartburn that culminated into a belch that drew the attention of the neighbor to my right.
They asked if I was trying the “wind thing” again.
I told them I was trying to breathe fire. They took out their phone, shook their head, mumbled something about dragon stuff not being listed in the pool, and went back to their condo.
We hadn’t had the car six days and the rear breaks went on strike.
Cancer Diary Day 30
The fates were against me today. The experiment went well, but upon receiving my car, there was a mechanical problem.
Trials to see if any manifestations of superpowers were out of the question as all of the day was taken up by getting a tow and working toward home.
Cancer Diary Day 31
This was the last day of the experiments. After my turkey impression, they removed the implant and congratulated me for my strength and for making it to the end of the run.
This day was a happy one and bittersweet at the same time. For any of the team that reads this, THANK YOU. You were wonderful, from start to finish. Although I hope I can dodge the monster, I know I will be in the best hand if, God-forbid, he rears his ugly head again.
One cannot have a journey to combat cancer and be a superhero without this.
No matter your journey in life, never lose your compassion for others. We are all in this together.
Be strong, have wonderful friends and family for support, and as my grandfather would say, “Find the funny in the situation.”
Anissa “Maddy” Walker.
House of Geek 