What you will find out about me during this posting challenge is that I don’t fake it when I am feeling a little lost or depressed. It’s been a rough couple of months. I am not going to go into detail here, but the stress and worry has gotten to me, and all I want to do is crawl into bed and hope the world disappears, at least until tomorrow.
What’s weird is that I am meeting my goals I have set for my freelance writing, and I am even in talks for a long-term project that will have me possibly writing for television series and maybe even movies. I should be over the moon. I have for proposals out to pick up another client. I am in talks with someone for editing work, and someone even sent me an offer. So, my goal for getting and maintaining three permanent clients is looking good.
I am keeping up the challenge I have set for myself. I have not missed a day of blogging. I am good there.
I am even using my to-do list and, even though I am feeling down and low energy, I will be working on my personal projects and getting commissions out of the way.
So, again, I should be over the moon. I should be motivated. I should be off to the races for another day of productivity and turning myself into a goal meeting machine.
So, why the depression? Why do I feel like whole world is sitting on my shoulders?
I did mention stress. There is that. There is LOTS of that. There are also other things that are weighing in on me. You see. Until this year and still a little bit, I feel like a bump on a log when it comes to helping out financially. My husband wants me to pursue my dreams and not worry about the mundane stuff, but I can’t do that and my conscience be clear.
To be quite frank, I feel guilty as all hell that he is carrying all of the burden. That is why I am scrambling to do something productive that contributes to the household other than housework and financial stuff.
It’s a new year, and this should be a new start. I just feel like 2019 isn’t done with us yet.
Until next time,
Anissa “Maddy” Walker